Driving Home

My life is fading fast
to fuzzy silhouettes
and broken glass.
The last thing I remember
was the gap
that closed as I
crashed into the
guardrail,
and my frail and drunken body
broke to pieces.

Now I'm standing
in front of twenty-thousand
flashing TV screens,
flashing memories
that feel like dreams,
reliving all the things
I wanted,
longing for the things
I never got to be -
I only ever wanted to
feel alive

But I dyed
my handkerchief a different color
and I died
in a terrible car accident.

My mother cried and cried, she don't believe I'll be in heaven.
She said my life style doesn't please God.
But oh, God!
Where have you been all of

My life?
My eyes are growing closed
even though I know
that I should
keep 'em open.
If I want to get to
know myself
I need to get to
know the world I live in
and the people in it -
in them I'll learn
all I need to know

before

I dye
my handkerchief a different color and if
I die
in a terrible car accident

I hope my mom won't cry,
I hope she'll smile through the tears because through all the years
I lived I was never alive.
But maybe when I die
I'll find the answers that I searched for all my life,
I'll kill the lights
and close my eyes.

paper guns.

The refrigerator hummed
in my head like
elevator music.
I’m mildly offended
but not really.
You set off the
smoke detectors
in my head.
I wish I knew of a
good plastic bag company
so I could cover
them and let you
go by undetected.
Curly hair does
this funny thing
where it tangles
but if you brush it
everything goes wrong
at the same time.
When I miss you
which I do
even right now
it’s like
I’ve stepped into the
crosswalk in front of
a truck.
I should have
pushed the button first,
at least once.
You said
of course and
then I tripped over
your smile like
one of those
inconveniently placed banana peels
but we are
not cartoons.
It was day
pretending to be
night like a
fucked up Halloween costume.
We trashed the
blatant NO TRESPASSING sign
broke the fishing line
and then I
missed you some more.

-LBR